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Do You Think You're Stylish?
NEWSLETTER
2/19/20263 min read
Do you consider yourself stylish? At this point, I’ve talked to so many women about style, and it’s a tiny percentage that consider themselves to “have style”. I’ve wavered myself - even though I love fashion, I think about it daily, and I feel an inherent connection to clothing.
What gets me questioning are the days where I just don’t have it together. My hair looks like a bird could make a home in it, the sweatpants I’m wearing have dog slobber on them, and I’m having an inner dialogue with my eyes about what percent of the way they should be open.
How can I have days like this and consider myself a stylish person?
This hurdle is the barrier for a lot of women, along with a lot of other negative self-talk that is predicated on society making the rules.
“I didn’t put on makeup today, that makes me lazy.”
“Everything in my wardrobe is old, I’m definitely not on top of the trends.”
“My body isn’t the right shape to make this outfit look good.”
We judge ourselves on our worst moments and turn to the general public, with its whirlwind of commentary on how women should show up, to see if we are worthy of the label “stylish”. Ick. And how exhausting. Who would come out of that feeling great about their style?
How do you avoid that trap? Ground your style in you - nobody else. I’m serious, don’t even ask your dog. Ultimately, dressing without self acceptance isn’t style at all. It’s just playing dress up. The most stylish people I’ve ever seen are those that are clearly enjoying their own outfit and could care less what the rest of the world thinks.
But that’s a big, head in the clouds idea, so what are the tangible pieces that set you on that path?
Here are some things that help:
Have pieces in your wardrobe that are versatile and you feel connected to. Pieces that you think are beautiful, that you never want to get rid of, that feel comforting.
Know what feeling, or vibe, different garments in your wardrobe fit to. For example, I have some dresses I reach for when I’m feeling sassy and others that help me feel sexy, some that feel very secure. How you mix and match your pieces will impact this, but having a basic idea will make it easier to match your mood to your outfit for the day.
Cultivate a strong sense of what you like and what feels good. Being able to listen to the voice in your head that says “I like that” or “I’m feeling this” is what makes it easier to pick through your closet and find that day’s winner.
Develop the ability to accept your needs that day, without judgement. It’s okay to have a day where you wear sweatpants. If that outfit makes you feel good and aligned with your inner self then don’t judge yourself for listening to that need. Applaud yourself. You can be stylish in sweatpants and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise!
Even with all the tools, skills, and practice, invariably, you’ll have days where it doesn’t connect. Where you just don’t feel stylish. You couldn’t correctly connect the mood you’re in to the outfit you picked for your body (I’m having one of those days today!). Call it the miss that it is and move on.
You can have a day that’s a miss and still consider yourself stylish. Like all skills in life, it’s about the average, not getting it spot on every dang day. Julia Child was still considered a world class chef despite making frequent mistakes in her cooking. You think you’re better than Julia Child? You don’t need to get it right 100% of the time to make stylish part of your identity.
If you’re the judge of your style and you’re putting together empowering outfits more days than not, you can consider yourself stylish. But I can’t really give you more than a nudge. You, of course, have to give yourself permission to take that title.
