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Modest vs. Sexy Clothing
NEWSLETTER
8/6/20261 min read
Today I’m going to leave you with a question, but not an answer.
My mind has been turning over the idea of modesty vs revealing clothing. I’m in the middle of reading this book (it's okay, but I'm not enjoying it enough to recommend it) about dress codes and the author pointed out what feels obvious now, but at the time the phrasing really struck me.
In comparing modesty and revealing clothing the author said “Modesty may seem the opposite of, or even an antidote to, sexual objectification and decorativeness, but in fact both dress codes require women to cater to the desires of men: while the sexualized, decorative woman must make herself pleasing to the eye, the modest woman is obliged to avoid drawing attention to herself. The demands of decorativeness and modesty are opposite sides of a single patriarchal coin…”*
It seemed obvious that these two types of appearance were opposite sides, but it didn’t hit home that both obsess over the sexuality of women in service of men. And both types of dressing are often weaponized against women.
At first I found this irritating – what an impossible balancing act for women. But then quickly found myself empowered by it. Women are going to be ridiculed at either end of the spectrum, so if it’s impossible to please why not say screw it and dress however you want?
*Quote from: Dress Codes: How the Laws of Fashion Made History by Richard Thompson Ford
