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Why I Keep My Clothing a Secret
NEWSLETTER
4/16/20262 min read
Sometimes I hide new pieces of clothing from my family, keeping them all to myself.
This past weekend, while my husband and I folded the laundry, he pulled out a green shirt and said “is this new”. I responded “Oh, I got that a month ago.”
It’s not what you think. I’m not hiding spending or trying to get away with buying new pieces he doesn’t want me to have. It’s my money and he wishes I would treat myself MORE OFTEN with new things.
I hide them for me.
Bill Cunningham said “Fashion is the armor to survive the reality of everyday life” and oooo do I feel that sometimes. Style is a place I found my identity when I was a teen. It was a place to hear my own voice, to listen to my own desires. A way for me to hear myself think.
Of course there were times I dressed for boys or to try to fit in – I was a teenager – but even with those pressures, my fashion sense felt like one of the few spaces that was just for me.
My parents are nerdy hippies – a life-long staple of my dad’s wardrobe are his cheap white tube socks – and didn’t really get fashion. That’s an understatement. Clothing was functional, plus fun halloween costumes my mom sewed. Style was something I could claim for myself that the rest of my family didn’t have any interest weighing in on.
The family i’ve created – my husband and son – do have an interest in fashion. Which makes it fun to shop, explore, and talk about style. But my core feelings around fashion remain the same. It’s what I tell my son: Your style is for you. You should always dress for you first.
That’s at the center of my hidden clothing items. Eventually I want to share with my family what I've gotten. I want to have my husband tell me I look good in my new shirt. But first I want the moment just for myself. I want to stretch the time where I get to experience it only for me.
In a culture where women are so often asked to put others first, I think cultivating moments just for ourselves is quite healthy. Actually, no, I think it’s essential.
I challenge you – especially if you’re a person that is currently feeling drained and over extended – seek out the “just for you” moments.
Pick times where you’re alone with no one else to prove anything to. Admire a new piece you bought, play dress up in your bedroom, do dramatic eye make up when you’re not leaving the house, pick out your outfit for the day with zero thoughts about who you will be seeing or where you’re going – it doesn’t matter how. Just do it for you.
